From before you even step foot on the prestigious grounds that is Howard University you need to have a few things in order with your appearance. Nobody cares if you’re selfish and hypocritical: as long as your look is right.
Let’s start from the head down. Weave. Learn it, breathe it, live it. Anywhere from 14 inches to 22 inches makes you a certified bad girl. Caution. You can’t get anything that isn’t real human hair. So the naps, kinks, and three-dollar bags are a big no-no. Also, stay away from loud colors. The Nicki Minaj Pink and Rihanna Red’s are not for Howard. They’re perfect for your moonlight shifts at Stadium, but definitely not for Howard elite. Learn that Brazilian, Indian, Columbian, and Peruvian are more than just ethnicities around the world. They are the best types of hair, they set your sew-in off! Also, learn that if someone is charging you ten dollars to do a sew-in then you should probably run the other way. You get what you pay for, and if you’re sew-in comes out looking like a wet poodle then you only have yourself to blame.
Now your face has to look right of course. I mean who wants a buttaface? Your eyebrows must be shaped to a precise curve that can be measured using a key algebraic expression.
10 dollars + x + y = shape.
The ten dollars to get them either waxed or threaded. X represents your travel fair. Did you go to the classy white area to get them done or to the sketch looking room in the Quad for the low-low? The makeup, or y, that you put on them, even after you got them professionally done is the next factor. Did you use MAC, Chanel, or Bobbi Brown or did you find something lying around Carver? This mathematically sound equation shows that money, is what you need to get your eyebrows right. Either that or a bomb room mate who can shape them on her own. But hey, if you don’t believe me then walk around with a uni-brow, see how fast you get spread across the evil and scathing Howard twitter scene.
Next on the face battle is acne. Proactive, Clean and Clear, or random home care treatments are a must! If I had a dime for how many times I’ve heard a guy say how much they love girls with good skin at Howard I could pay for this outrageous tuition. Long story short, silky and clean is the way to go. Mountains on your face is a perfect example of how to be lonely for the rest of your life, as Howard would like to tell us anyways.
Learn to wear make-up 24-7 and learn how to apply it flawlessly. Most girls don’t walk out of the Quad, Annex, the Towers or whatever rat infested dorm they stay in without looking “photo shoot fresh.” MAC is a University favorite but my floor mate correctly uses the Queen Collection in her favor. All that matters is that you a – don’t look like a clown and b- you use the correct shade. If you know you’re a deep brown don’t but the light shade in hopes that your bleach cream takes in effect by tomorrow morning. If it took Beyonce years and editing to get to light what makes you think that you have better resources than her? Girl bye!
The next frontier is your clothes. Bum gear is a sure fire way to stand out in a negative way. My insightful RA told our floor at our first floor meeting that when it comes to bum swag unless it has Howard plastered across the material and you’re pairing it with 200 dollar UGGs don’t wear it. What would I do without this piece of information? Forever 21, H&M, Zara, and Macy’s are all favorites. Also, the art of thirfting is a delicate skill that most learn halfway through their first semester at the Mecca. Everyone can dress, or knows how to imitate people that can dress. We didn’t become the second best dressed University for a reason people! One of the pro’s of Howard is that all styles are welcomed, if they look good. Most people experiment with their look, and most succeed. Howard shows out, looks good, puts their fancy clothes on, everyday: regardless of the event. Basketball games? People show up in heels. Football game? All the girls are in mini’s and a blazer with a Howard shirt tucked in. Class? Wear leggings, cute shirt, and the latest boots. Look good; it’s a requirement.
Moving on to the nails; females should keep their nails painted until they die. A fresh coat of nail polish is almost as important as walking outside with the new Louie bag on. Why would you buy the new sandals and your nails look like they’re throwing up gang signs? What exactly was your motivation boo? If you’re the few that can’t afford 35-dollar Pedi’s every other week a home set is mandatory. A simple OPI color and good girlfriend time will do the trick.
Now most importantly you have to have confidence. Repeat after me “I am the shit!” Howard women get the reputation of being “boogie” and “stuck up” after we graduate and that’s because we are. We attend the most prestigious HBCU in the nation and we are one of the best, and most expensive, university’s in the United States. Walk around like you believe in yourself then maybe you can get chose from the five percent of guys here. You have to know that you are beautiful, smart, sexy, and all that and a bag of chips; especially when the next hater will do everything to try and convince you that you aren’t fly. Your inner swag is your greatest weapon in surviving Howard and without it all the other tips are irrelevant.
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